So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have feelings that need drinking.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize