grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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