we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
