oh god the rape fog is back!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
