There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i came on her dog
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
