I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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