We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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