Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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