I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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