so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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