you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
