it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
