take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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