you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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