worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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