I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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