Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
