It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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