You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
