Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
