How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
