We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
