i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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