remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
