Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
