You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
