how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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