Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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