i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
