Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
