if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
