too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
