I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
