make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
