My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
