Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize