I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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