Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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