why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
