please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
