It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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