Welp...herpes.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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