also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I touched a dick in church today
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
