I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
As shirtless as possible
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
