Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
