So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
