We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
