There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
