I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
