hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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