My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Randomize
