jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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