Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
