I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
