Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
