Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
